Murphy, O'Brien & Casey sitting in a bar discussing the
words they would like to hear spoken over their coffins at their wakes. Casey
says,
"I would like them to say 'He was a wonderful family man- he always supported his wife and kids, and they never wanted for anything.'"
O' Brien says, "That's lovely Casey. But I would like to hear them say, 'He was a great man in the community - he undertook a lot of projects to make his community a better place."
Murphy says, "That's very nice, O'Brien. But I would like to hear them say, 'Look! He's moving!'"
"I would like them to say 'He was a wonderful family man- he always supported his wife and kids, and they never wanted for anything.'"
O' Brien says, "That's lovely Casey. But I would like to hear them say, 'He was a great man in the community - he undertook a lot of projects to make his community a better place."
Murphy says, "That's very nice, O'Brien. But I would like to hear them say, 'Look! He's moving!'"
Little Ryan had spilled the ink all over the classroom
floor. The teacher came down and stood looking sternly at him.
“Ryan,” she said, “If you spilled something at home, what would your mother
do?” Ryan said, “Well, she wouldn’t just stand there like you, looking at
it, she’d clean it up.”
"A lot of men are going to be miserable when I
marry," she said.
"How many," he asked, "are you going to
marry?
Bartender to Flanagan: “Your glass is empty sir, would
you like another? Flanagan said, “Now just why would I be wanting two
empty glasses?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs. Fitzpatrick was boasting to Mrs. O’Reilly about the
extent of her wardrobe. “Whenever I’m in the dumps, I get myself a new hat.”
Mrs. O’Reilly said, “I was wondering where you got them.”
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