September 25, 2006

Campground Service

It was another fun-filled weekend camping with Cub Scouts, and now I can vent about just how much fun it was.

The kids were great, the fellow campers were great (most of them), but there is always something that will go wrong when camping.

The first problem arose at about 0500 on Saturday morning. Now this is typically a very quiet time on a campground, an hour before things begin to stir. Well, Jetty Park has a different idea about quiet time, to them it is an opportunity to clean up. What you might ask would they want to clean up at 5:00 in the morning??? Well, dumpsters of course! There were 6 large, steel dumpsters next to the group camping area, that probably take a week to fill. But 5 AM is the designated time to empty them. And I know that there are 6 because I was able to count each and every very loud bang, bam, and thud. And these dumpsters were largely filled with bottles, and the entire campground can verify this as the sound of glass falling into an empty garbage truck is very recognizable. BTW, it takes about 20 minutes to empty 6 dumpsters, 20 loud, noisey minutes.....Of course in between each lifting and dumping of a dumpster, the truck must go into reverse and reposition itself to access the next target. And whoever decided that large equipment needs to go "Beep! Beep! Beep!" everytime it is put into reverse, has never attempted to sleep near a reversing piece of heavy equipment.

After the truck left, the air was still and the campground calm. With a little less than an hour left before the sun would rise and campers would awaken, panic sets in as you think through the very busy and tiring day ahead.

Six o'clock comes quickly at the campground, and tents start rustling with the sound of young boys excitedly waking up to begin the day. As is the case with boys young and old around the world, the first activity is a quick stop at the bathroom. Alas, at Jetty Park this is the perfect opportunity to close the Men's Room for cleaning. Now picture 20 young boys and their fathers emploring a refined, compassionate old hag to open the bathroom during rush hour. Fat chance (and I do mean fat!). I was about to have the boys line-up and spell relief on the side of the janitor's truck, but a more reasonable Dad suggested that was not a good idea. After all there was another bathroom on the other side of the camp and if we hurried we could get there before another park maintenance genious closed that bathroom.

So we are rethinking our annual trek to Jetty Park in hopes that another campground might be more considerate of their customer's when scheduling clean up.

Check back tomorrow and I'll share with you the adventures that happened on the second night.

September 22, 2006

A Camping we will go.....

And so it begins. This weekend marks the start of yet another Cub Scout camping year. We are off to Jetty Park at Cape Canaveral, a fun little camping spot where the boys can engage in many things that are not hi on my list. They can fish, play on the beach, and bake in the sun. All this while there is ample opportunity to stay at home in the A/C and watch golf, baseball, and football all weekend.

But, I'm a Dad, and as a Dad my duty lies in keeping mother and children happy. I've tried to get the Blackberry to play video via the Internet so I could keep tabs on the Ryder Cup, the Phillies, and the world of football. Alas, I will have to give up the ghost and stop thinking of sports for the weekend.

Perhaps the time at the beach will provide opportunities to take in the scenery, should any scenery worthy of note wander to this remote beach.

But there is more. I have two sons camping at Jetty Park and one who will be 40 miles south at Scout Island. This normally would not be an issue, but it is family day at Scout Island so I will drive down to Melbourne Saturday afternoon to fish and play with the Boy Scouts.

So I'm off to the beach. And I hope I can sneak a beer in here and there.

Happy OneWebDay!!

September 18, 2006

But it's not a violent religion.........

So the Pope makes an historical reference by quoting an ancient ruler who had an opinion about the followers of Muhammad. Now I must admit that the Catholic Church has not always promoted free thought and intellectual discussion on topics, at least not the nuns who taught me. But this peaceful religion (Islam) reacts to the notion that they were thought to be a violent religion by becoming extremely violent. While this seems like a Saturday Night Live sketch, it is unfortunately reality.

It reminds me of an Irish joke that went something like:

Murphy was relating to the judge the trouble at the pub the night before.
"Ye see your lordship," Murphy was saying. "The English gentleman was going
on and on about how we Irish are always startin' fights or settling arguments with our fists."
"I see," said the magistrate. "And what happened next?"
"Well," says Murphy. "I politely told him that perpetuating the myth that we Irish are a violent people was not fair."
"And then?" asked the judge.
"He said that the Irish could not settle their disputes any other way."
"And what was your reaction?" the judge inquired.
"Well, your honor, I hit him!"

So we Irish can take a joke. But the Muslims claim that they will kill everyone who does not believe that they are peace loving.

If it wasn't so sad you would have to laugh. If it wasn't Muslims, it would be instand material for Jay Leno, David Letterman, and every other late night host.

But please don't hurt their feelings, they are a peace loving people.....

September 1, 2006

Hurricane Season

Unlike past years, we have made it to September with minimal impact from Mother Nature. This week provided us with a dress rehearsal as the Central Florida region prepared for Ernesto. The damage was isolated as shown but we all came through ready and willing to face the world. I think we can survive without FEMA this time, but we dodged a bullet and may not be as lucky in the future......

July 26, 2006

Beer Divorce

It is a sad day for all consumers when the large bohemoth buys up the small customer focused breweries. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon as many a small brewery folds under the competitive forces of Big Beer.

I have been a consistent consumer of Rolling Rock for 30 years. I have also consumed the AB products and I'm smart enough to realize that AB is not going to forever stick with the RR formula. They are both rice beers but the difference in taste puts RR more than 33% above the bohemouth brands.

I will miss you Rolling Rock, but it's time to move on. We're calling it quits - divorce from my favorite beer. Irreconcilable differences indeed. I hope you change your mind and go back to Latrobe...I hope you stick to your roots and follow good taste....but I won't hold my breath.....I'm crushed right now, but I'll recover...I'll just have to go drown my sorrows with someone new.......

Heeyyy!!!.....Get a look at that St. Pauli Girl!! Oh come on now, you look much younger than "33" remind me of someone I used to know.....yeah, she looked good in green....What happened you ask? She moved to New Jersey and changed....

May 23, 2006

The Office Life - Part 1

I’m turning into a dirty old man….

I walked into the cubicle of a young lady (24 and really cute) who works with me. Her cell phone was plugged into its charger and was hidden in her lap. What I noticed with some curiosity was an electric cord running from the wall to a very private area.

Just as I said hello, her cell phone rang…only it didn’t ring as it was set to vibrate and a loud BZZZZ filled the air.
Many things ran through my mind that I would have said if I was 20 years younger and single. Here are the ones I can remember:

"Ummm, that is your phone, isn't it?"
"Do you want me to answer that?"
"If you give me your number, I'll call you every 20 minutes or so."
"Are there other features of that Razor that they don't adverstise?"

Instead, I bit my lip and remarked at how nice her shoes looked (it was all I could think of that was not suggestive). Now she thinks it’s wonderful that I noticed her shoes……women…..

March 23, 2006

Post Time......

So, the holiday has ended and the hangovers have subsided, but many have asked, "If it's truly St. Patrick's Month as you claim, why have all the lame Irish jokes subsided????"

"Well, " he says, "It's mainly because I don't wish to wear out my welcome......"

Yes, believe it or not, some people actualy get tired of Irish jokes.......These people are typically of inferior mental capabilities, but being the diverse culture we are these days, we can't pick on stupid people for being stupid......

(Damn.....I wasn't supposed to be so insensitive........I do, really, I'm sorry....I did not mean to imply that people who did not enjoy Irish humor were stupid......but, if you stop to think about it, they are either stupid or merely daft.........

There now, I hope I made you feel better.......

Let's test......if you find this funny.......than you are cured, and you are no longer a subject of the Queen......Hip-Hip-Hurray!!!!!

A Belfast newspaper once reported the launching of an aircraft carrier and recorded:

'The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea.'

A black, black night it was as Mick made his way homeward from the pub. Suddenly he heard a small voice crying for help and so, full of Guinness and good will to all men, he followed the sound 'til he came across the small figure of a leprechaun with his foot caught under a large stone. Mick freed the green-clad little fellow, helped him gently to his feet and made sure all was well.
"Good sir," said the leprechaun, bowing stiffly and low, "I am in your debt and wish to repay yer kindness. I would deem it a favor if ye'd accept three fairy wishes."
"Shure now that would be foine," said Mick.
"Make a wish then," said the little man, "and whatever ye want, 'twill be granted."
"Oi wish Oi had a bottle of stout," said Mick.
No sooner were the words spoken than a bottle appeared in Mick's hand. Gently he unscrewed the top and supped the bottle.
"Sir," interrupted the leprechaun, "I don't mean to be rushing ye, but I must get on and ye still have two more wishes to make."
"Well," said Mick, "Oi wish this bottle would never be empty."
"Done," said the manikin.
Mick had another swig and another and, sure enough, after each the bottle would replenish itself.
"Glory be," said Mick, dancing a small jig and supping some more.
"And what's your third wish?" the leprechaun inquired politely.
"Shure now," said Mick, waving his magic bottle, "Oi'll have another one of these."