A few for those of you dedicated enough to come searching on a Saturday.....
Police in the Republic of Ireland, the Garda, have been chasing a mysterious and impossible to find Polish driver who has apparently committed more than 50 motoring offences. Officers had been puzzled how the mysterious "Prawo Jazdy" had always produced his documents, but each time with a different address. They have now discovered the embarrassing truth after checking with the Polish embassy….. "Prawo Jazdy" is Polish for "driving license" and is printed on all Polish licenses.
Father Murphy phoned the police station and said to the policeman in charge,
"I would like to report a dead donkey in front of the rectory."
The policeman said, sarcastically, "I thought you priests took care of the dead?"
Father Murphy said, "We do, but first we get in touch with their relatives."
Paddy and Sean were drunk after the annual college dinner and wanted to leave the hotel.
"Look, son. Howdjwegetout?"
The porter pointed along the passage.
"Turn to the right at the next passage and go down two steps and you'll be in the main hall."
They staggered on together, turned right and fell down the elevator shaft to the basement. As they sorted themselves out, Paddy rolled over and said, "Look, Sean. If that fella thinks I'm going down the other step, he's crazy."
O'Malley's daughter was on her way home from work one night by bus and it was raining heavily. When she reached her stop, she jumped off the bus and began to run to her house a couple of streets away. She heard footsteps behind her and, looking around, she saw a man following her. She reached home, hammered on the door and her mother let her in.
She said, "Oh, mother, a man ran after me."
Her mother said, "I know." as the man came in the gate. "It was your father, he went to meet you with your raincoat and umbrella."