March 13, 2014

Day 13

Here are a few stories experiencing the Irish weather......

O'Malley's daughter was on her way home from work one night by bus and it was raining heavily.  When she reached her stop, she jumped off the bus and began to run to her house a couple of streets away.  She heard footsteps behind her and, looking around, she saw a man following her.  She reached home, hammered on the door and her mother let her in.

She said, "Oh, mother, a man ran after me."

Her mother said, "I know." as the man came in the gate.  "It was your father, he went to meet you with your raincoat and umbrella."


Three old ladies met on the street on a very stormy day.  The wind was so loud that they had difficulty in hearing each other.
“It’s windy,” said one.
“No, it’s Thursday,” said the next.
“So am I,” said the third.  “Let’s go and have a drink.”


Father Murphy met Casey in the street and Casey admired his new umbrella. 
Father Murphy said, “Thank you, but I’m not sure I got it honestly.  It started to rain the other day, and I stepped into a doorway to wait until it stopped.  Then, I say a young fellow coming along with a nice, large umbrella, and I thought that if he was going as far as my house, I’d ask him to share it with me. 

I stepped out from the doorway and said, ‘Where are you going with that umbrella?’  And he dropped the darned thing and ran off.”


One typically rainy Irish night a man and his wife are in bed when the man hears a knock on his door, so he gets up and opens it. Standing there is a very drunk guy, water dripping down his face who asks the homeowner to give him a push.
"What!" the homeowner yells in an angry voice and promptly slams the door in the drunk's face. He goes back upstairs and gets back in bed, and his wife asks him who it was.
"Just a guy wanting a push," the husband says. "Why didn't you help him?" the woman asks. 

"Because it's 3:30 in the morning and raining like the dickens" the husband yells. 

The wife, slightly angry now, says, "Remember that time our car broke down and someone was nice enough to help us in the middle of the night? I think you should help him." 

Very grumpy now, the husband gets back up, gets dressed, and goes outside. Not seeing the man or his car, he yells out, "Where are you? You said you wanted a push!" 

The drunk calls out, "I'm over here!" 

Still not seeing the drunk, the husband yells out again, "WHERE?!" 

"OVER HERE, BY YOUR SWING SET!" the drunk yells back.

No comments: