March 8, 2017

Day 8

The rich American couldn't understand why the Irish angler was lying lazily beside his boat on the beach, smoking a pipe.
"Why aren't you out fishing?" asked the American.
"Because I have caught enough fish for the day," said the fisherman.
"Why don't you catch some more?"
"What would I do with them?"
"You could sell them and make more money," was the American's reply. "With that you could have a motor fixed to your boat and go into deeper waters and catch more fish. Then you would make enough to buy nets. These would bring you more fish and more money. Soon you would have enough money to own two boats . . . maybe even a fleet of boats. Then you would be a rich man like me."
"What would I do then?" asked the fisherman.
"Then you could really enjoy life." said the American.
"And what do you suppose I might be doing right now?" said the Irishman, smiling and puffing away on his pipe.


Three drunks get into a cab in Galway. The cab driver knew they were drunk so he starts the engine and then turns it off.  He tells them, “We’re here.”
The first guy gives him the fare and the second guy says, “Thank you.”
The third guy gives the driver a slap.  The driver was shocked thinking the third drunk new what he had done. But he asked, “What’s that for?”
The third guy replies, “Watch yer speed next time, you could have gotten us killed!”


A surgeon and an architect, both English, were joined by an Irish politician, and all fell to arguing as to whose profession was the oldest.
Said the surgeon, "Eve was made from Adam's rib, and that surely was a surgical operation."
"Maybe," said the architect, "but prior to that, order was created out of chaos, and that was an architectural job."
"Shure now," interrupted the politician, "but somebody created the chaos first."


The taxi passenger tapped O’Malley, the driver, on the shoulder to ask him a question. O’Malley screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then, O’Malley said, "If you would please be so kind as to not ever do that again. You scared the bejeebers out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." 

O’Malley replied, "Think nothing of it, it's not really your fault. Today is me first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

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