For some reason or another, our local St. Patrick's Day parade occurs today. I guess they have finally decided to celebrate the Month, rather than the day.
If you can't make it to the parade, raise your glass in toast to those who have made the sacrifice to march and entertain the throngs.
An old man living alone in South Armagh, whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn’t have anyone to dig his garden for spring planting. So he wrote to his son about his predicament.
The son sent the reply, “For HEAVENS SAKE, don’t dig the garden up, that’s where I buried the guns!!!!!” At 3 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers turned up and dug the garden for 3 hours, but didn’t find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what had happened, asking him what he should do now? The son sent the reply: “NOW plant the potatoes!”
At a picnic for a Catholic school, the Mother Superior stacked a pile of apples on one end of a table with a sign saying, "Take only one apple please -- God is watching."
On the other end of the table was a pile of cookies, on which a second grade student had placed a sign saying, "Take all the cookies you want -- God is watching the apples."
In hearing an Irish case of assault and battery, counsel, in cross examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had the first place they stopped at.
"Four glasses of ale," was the reply.
"Two glasses of whiskey."
"One glass of brandy."
A surgeon and an architect, both English, were joined by an Irish politician, and all fell to arguing as to whose profession was the oldest.
Said the surgeon, "Eve was made from Adam's rib, and that surely was a surgical operation."
"Maybe," said the architect, "but prior to that, order was created out of chaos, and that was an architectural job."
"Shure now," interrupted the politician, "but somebody created the chaos first."