March 3, 2008

Day 4

I was in a discussion about the local parade with a friend who marched in it. While I had a difficult time understanding why it was so early in March, I had to admit that it certainly was an Irish event since it has a bit of controversy to it. All over the globe this year, there is discussion about when to observe St. Patrick's Day, for this year it falls during Holy Week, considered a time of sober reflection. Perhaps you haven't noticed but there is rarely any sober reflection during a St. Patrick's Day parade.

Anyway, I thank the City of Winter Park for hosting the parade and thanks to all those who marched.

Many towns in Ireland are observing the holiday early in order to keep Holy Week holy. However, the largest centers of Irish Culture (watch the oxymoron comments please), Dublin and New York City will be observing on the 17th.

So which are the shortest and the longest parade routes? The longest parade in the world takes place in New York, with a route that stretches over four miles, while the shortest in Dripsey, County Cork, Ireland, which is a mere twenty yards long — simply a parade between two pubs. I've been to New York and I hope to make it to Cork some day......

And now for todays laughs:

McCuen stumbled out of a saloon right into the arms of Father Logan. "Inebriated again!" declared the priest. "Shame on you! When are you going to straighten out your life??"
"Father," asked McCuen. "What causes arthritis?"
"I'll tell you what causes it! Drinking cheap whiskey, gambling and carousing around with loose women. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't," slurred McCuen. "The Bishop has it!"


The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. "

"Don't worry about it doctor, I'll come back when you're sober."


Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey".

Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."


Reginald, an English businessman was sadly born without ears. Although successful in business, this problem did annoy him greatly. One day he needed to hire a new manager for his company. He set up three interviews.

The first interview was with Antonio. Antonio knew everything he needed to know and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, Reginald asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
"Why, yes, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears," was the reply.
Reginald did not appreciate his candor and threw him out of the office.

The second interview was with a Frenchman, Rene, and he was even better than the first. Reginald asked Rene the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?"
"Well," Rene said stammering, "you have no ears."
Reginald again got upset and chucked him out in a rage.

Reginald was wary of the last interview for it was with a young Irishman. Sean, who had recently earned his degree from Trinity College in Dublin, was the best of the bunch. He was smart, handsome, and he seemed to have better business sense than the first two put together. Reginald was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?"

Much to his surprise, Sean answered, "Yes, you wear contact lenses, don't you?" The Englishman was shocked and realized this was an incredibly observant person. "How in the world did you know that?" he asked.

Sean fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no freaking ears!"

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