Day 13

Today's Irish Quote:

"When I get a very generous introduction like that, I explain that I'm emotionally moved, but on the other hand I'm Irish and the Irish are very emotionally moved. My mother is Irish and she cries during beer commercials."

- Former U.S. General Barry McCaffrey




The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink."

"Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober."


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Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey".

Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

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An elderly couple was driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the police.

The policeman said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"

The woman turns to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"

The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!" The policeman said, "May I see your license?"

The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"

The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!"

The woman gave him her license.

The policeman said, "I see you are from Mayo. I spent some time there once and had the worst date I have ever had."

The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"

The old man yelled, "He thinks he knows you!"

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A man phoned the taxi company and said, “I need a taxi - I’m late, I need to catch the 10:00 train to the city.”

The operator replied, “We’re a bit busy at the moment, but we’ll send a taxi to you as soon as we can. By the way, don’t worry about being late - the train is always running late, anyway.”

The man then said, “It certainly will be today - I’m the driver!”