Today's Irish Quote:
"It was a bold man who ate the first oyster."
- Jonathan Swift
A local Irisher was boasting about the grand party he and his pals had the night before.
"Aye," sez he, "Wasn't it a great night the five of us had."
"Who were the five?" asked a listener.
"Well," said the Irisher as he began counting on his fingers. "There was one, that's me. There was Clancy, that's two. There was the Quigley twins, that's three, and there was Sullivan, that's four."
"But you said there were five and you count only four."
"Jist a minute, let me count again,' replied the Irisher as he again began to pick off the number on his fingers. "There was one, that was me. Two, there was Clancy. Three, there was the Quigley twins, and four, there was Sullivan. Shure, I must have taken a wee drop too many, because last night I thought there was five of us at the party. Now I know there's only four."
A black, black night it was as Mick made his way homeward from the pub. Suddenly he heard a small voice crying for help and so, full of Guinness and good will to all men, he followed the sound 'til he came across the small figure of a leprechaun with his foot caught under a large stone. Mick freed the green-clad little fellow, helped him gently to his feet and made sure all was well.
"Good sir," said the leprechaun, bowing stiffly and low, "I am in your debt and wish to repay yer kindness. I would deem it a favor if ye'd accept three fairy wishes."
"Shure now that would be foine," said Mick.
"Make a wish then," said the little man, "and whatever ye want, 'twill be granted."
"Oi wish Oi had a bottle of stout," said Mick.
No sooner were the words spoken than a bottle appeared in Mick's hand. Gently he unscrewed the top and supped the bottle.
"Sir," interrupted the leprechaun, "I don't mean to be rushing ye, but I must get on and ye still have two more wishes to make."
"Well," said Mick, "Oi wish this bottle would never be empty."
"Done," said the manikin.
Mick had another swig and another and, sure enough, after each the bottle would replenish itself.
"Glory be," said Mick, dancing a small jig and supping some more.
"And what's your third wish?" the leprechaun inquired politely.
"Shure now," said Mick, waving his magic bottle, "Oi'll have another one of these."