March 15, 2015

Day 15

It has been a foine weekend of celebrating with the Irish here in St. Augustine.  And I've figured that the true talent is not being able to dance those steps, but to keep stepping forward after a day of stout and whiskey.....

When old Hennessey collapsed on the street, a crowd soon gathered and began making suggestions as to how the old fellow should be revived.
      Maggie O'Reilly yelled, "Give the poor man some whiskey!"
No one paid any attention to her, and the crowd continued shouting out suggestions.  Finally, Hennessey opened one eye, pulled himself up on an elbow, and said weakly,
      "Will the lot o' ye hold yer tongues and let Maggie O'Reilly speak!"
Muldoon was reading in the tabloids about a famous actress who married a boxer not particularly known for his high IQ.
He says to his wife, "It seems the biggest jerks always get the most beautiful women."
She replied, "Why, Thank you, dear."
O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.  As he struggles to his feet he felt something wet running down his leg.
      "Please God," he implored, "let it be blood."


Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal and says to the first man he meets,
      "Do you want to go to heaven?"
      The man said, "I do, Father."
      The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." 
      Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
      "Certainly Father," said the man.
      "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
      Then the priest walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
      O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
      The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
      O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."


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