March 7, 2015

Day 7

The Irish have a love-hate relationship with professionals....the love doctors and they hate lawyers....

The attorney was cross examining Clancy, the coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" The coroner said, "No."
            The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?", and again the coroner said, "No."
            Then the attorney asked, "Did you check for breathing?", and again the coroner said, "No."
            "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"
Clancy, now tired of the brow beating said,
            "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."


The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. "

"Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober."


The doctor said to Flanagan, "The best thing for you to do is to give up drinking and smoking."
Flanagan said, "What's the second best thing?"


Young Riley had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office in down town Dublin and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, Riley picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
            He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
            The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

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