And so it begins again. Some new, some old, hopefully some of them make you smile or even laugh out loud!
Paddy, a pick pocket, was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Murphy you are hereby fined $100." His lawyer was his brother Sean who stood up and said "Thanks, yer honor, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd…..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finnegan is sitting at the bar with his pet pig asks for a couple of drinks. The confused bartender said no animals were allowed at the bar.
Finnegan says, "Ah, but this is a very special pig. Just last week there was a fire in the house and that pig came charging out of his pen into the house and woke us all up. Then a few days later my son fell into the pool and that pig was grazing out on the lawn,and he came running and jumped into the pool and saved my son."
"Well " said the bartender "I guess this pig is very special so I'll get him a drink. By the way I noticed that he is missing one leg, what happened?"
"Well said Finnegan, when you got a pig this good you don't eat him all at once..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sean is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making brute steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as Sean bursts into tears.
"This is the worst day of my life" says Sean. "I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the car park, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to end it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!! But...enough about me, how's your day going?!"
And don't forget about the parade in Winter Park this Sunday. 2:00!
Paddy, a pick pocket, was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Murphy you are hereby fined $100." His lawyer was his brother Sean who stood up and said "Thanks, yer honor, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd…..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finnegan is sitting at the bar with his pet pig asks for a couple of drinks. The confused bartender said no animals were allowed at the bar.
Finnegan says, "Ah, but this is a very special pig. Just last week there was a fire in the house and that pig came charging out of his pen into the house and woke us all up. Then a few days later my son fell into the pool and that pig was grazing out on the lawn,and he came running and jumped into the pool and saved my son."
"Well " said the bartender "I guess this pig is very special so I'll get him a drink. By the way I noticed that he is missing one leg, what happened?"
"Well said Finnegan, when you got a pig this good you don't eat him all at once..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sean is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making brute steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as Sean bursts into tears.
"This is the worst day of my life" says Sean. "I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the car park, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to end it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!! But...enough about me, how's your day going?!"
And don't forget about the parade in Winter Park this Sunday. 2:00!
No comments:
Post a Comment