As you may, or may not know, we Irish like to talk a lot. Just to get a feel for the Irish mystique, here are some quotes regarding the Irish:
"We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English."
- Winston Churchill
"It was a bold man who ate the first oyster."
- Jonathan Swift
"I only drink on two occasions - When I am thirsty and when I'm not thirsty."
- Brendan Behan
"This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever."
- Sigmund Freud (speaking about the Irish)
"I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted."
- Irish Soccer superstar George Best
"I used to go missing quite alot...Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World."
- George Best
"It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's simply that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody."
- Brendan Behan
"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
- Quentin Crisp
"The most important thing to remember about drunks is that drunks are far more intelligent than non-drunks. They spend a lot of time talking in pubs, unlike workaholics who concentrate on their careers and ambitions, who never develop their higher spiritual values, who never explore the insides of their head like a drunk does."
- Shane MacGowen, lead singer/songwriter for The Pogues.
"The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bagpipes and called it music."
- source unknown
"Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf."
- Irish saying
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
- Flannery O’Connor, Irish Writer
Of course it wouldn't be a daily joke entry if I didn't provide you with some true Irish jokes. Rather than provide you with more of my archive entries, I want to expose you to the wit, wisdom, and Irish humor of one of the Emerald Isle's best comedians. I point you in the direction of Tommy Tiernan.
And just so you don't feel cheated.......
A woman from Co. Kerry hired three men to move her furniture. When she saw two of them struggling to carry a wardrobe upstairs, she asked where the third fellow was. “Oh, he’s in the wardrobe stopping the wire coat-hangers from rattling!”
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