Mrs. Casey had reached the grand age of 104. She was the oldest living being in County Cork. The newspaper sent a reporter to interview the old woman about her longevity.
"Have you ever been bedridden?" asked the newsman.
"Oh, many times," replied Mrs. Casey. "An' once in a canoe, too!"
Paddy had just come off the boat into New York and spent the first few days just wandering about the city. One afternoon he walked into a saloon and saw a sign behind tghe bar that read: ALL THE BEER YOU CAN DRINK FOR $1
"Okay, bartender," said Paddy. "Gimme two dollars worth."
Father Callahan was at a pitch of fervor in his sermon on drinking. "What could be worse than drink?" he boomed.
"Thirst!" shouted Hannigan from the rear.
"A lot of men are going to be miserable when I marry," Katie said.
"How many," Murphy asked, "are you going to marry?"
This one is one of the classics.....
Two oldsters living on their pension in Donegal would meet every day and walk to every saloon in town.
One day, one of them said, "I read in the papers that if all the saloons in Ireland were set end to end, they'd reach from Belfast to London."
"Oh," says the other, "what a walk."
The American tourist in Dublin had been complaining a great deal about the food.
"Here," he said to the waitress holding out a piece of meat for inspection, "do you call that pig?"
"Which end of the fork, sir?" the waitress asked sweetly.