March 7, 2009

Day 8

With only 10 days to go, let's learn a bit of history about the day....Why the 17th of March? This is widely believed to be the day that Patrick died. In its early years, the 17th of March was named the "Festival of St Patrick's Falling Asleep". It involved religious sermons about the life and work of Patrick, followed by celebratory activities, such as dancing, music, and perhaps even a little drinking.


Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey".
Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

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The attorney was cross examining Clancy, the coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" The coroner said, "No."
The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?", and again the coroner said, "No."
Then the attorney asked, "Did you check for breathing?", and again the coroner said, "No."
"So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"
Clancy, now tired of the brow beating said,
"Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

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Father Murphy met Casey in the street and Casey admired his new umbrella.
Father Murphy said, "Thank you, but I'm not sure I got it honestly. It started to rain the other day, and I stepped into a doorway to wait until it stopped. Then I saw a young fellow coming along with a nice large umbrella, and I thought that if he was going as far as my house, I'd ask him to share it with me. I stepped out from the doorway and said, 'Where are you going with that umbrella?' And he dropped the darned thing and ran."
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Flanagan came home at four o'clock in the morning half drunk, and all his wages spent. His wife said, "How did you spend all your wages?"
He said, "I bought something for the house."
She said, "What could you buy for the house that cost so much?"
He said, "Eight rounds of drinks."

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Applications for jobs on a government dam project had to take a written examination. The first question was: What does hydrodynamics meant?
Casey, who was an applicant, hesitated for a moment, then wrote, "It means that I don't get the job."

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