Where was the first St Patrick's Day celebration?
The first formal celebration of St. Patrick's Day took place not in Ireland, but in Boston in 1737. It consisted of a dinner attended by wealthy Protestant gentlemen and merchants who had recently come over from Ulster to settle in the colonies. By 1775, the Boston celebration included a march with 70 soldiers from the British Army who were at the time occupying Boston (an interesting note is that exactly 1 year later, in 1776, the British Army was marching again — but in double time — as they were retreating from the city. So in Boston, March 17 holds two causes to celebrate — St Patrick's Day and Evacuation day.)
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This young Dublin fella comes home all excited to tell his ma he's fallen in love and going to get married.
He says: "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you just try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees, so the next day he brings along three beautiful women and sits them down on the couch and they chat away for a while.
He then says: "Right, OK Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one in the middle."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did ye know?"
"I don't like her."
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There is an Old Irish couple, Margaret and Patty. Margaret walks into the living room where Patty is and says, "Patrick, oh I am so proud of you, so proud. Last month, I told you that you were spending too much time at the pub and too much time away from me. Since then you haven't gone to the pub once and stayed home. I want to do something special for ya, I want to make ya a special dinner, special indeed."
Patty replied, "Oh Margaret, you don't have to do that, don't trouble yourself."
"No, it's no trouble" Margaret insisted, "In fact, when we were on holiday last year, you really enjoyed that Escargot. You go to the store and get them snails and I'll make 'em up for ya."
Patty got excited, "Oh, that would be wonderful!! Okay, okay, I'll go right away."
So Patty goes to the store to get the snails, but has to pass the pub on the way. As he passes, everyone in the pub starts yelling, "Hey Patty!! Where ya been, Boy? Come on in and let me buy ya a pint!!!
Patty refuses, "No, no, no, no. I've got to get to the store.........No, I've got to go."
They keep it up, "C'mon Patty, just one, let me buy ya one!"
Patty answers, "No, no, no, I've got to go."
Patty makes it to the store and gets the snails. Well on his way back he has to go passed the pub once again, they start in again, "Hey Patty!! Come on in and let me buy ya a pint!!!"
Patty answers, "No, no, no, no. I've got to get home.........No, I've got to go."
They beg, "C'mon boy, just one."
Patty responds, "No, I've got to go. I've got..........Well..........Just one."
It's 11:00 pm when Patty looks down on his watch. "Oh No!! I've got to go!!"
Patty starts running home, he gets to the gate and flings it open and then trips and the snails go flying everywhere. Margaret hears the ruckus and comes out and yells, "Patty! It's after 11 o'clock! what took ya so long?!? Where ya been?!?"
Patty looks up at Margaret, looks down and sees the snails spread out everywhere, gets up, waves and exclaims, "Come on Boys, keep it going! WE'RE ALMOST THERE!!!"
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One St. Patrick's Day an old peat farmer rode into his local village on his prize donkey to celebrate the day. He tied his mule and went into his favorite pub where he spent several hours with several pints and songs and not a few stories. On leaving the pub he was shocked to find that someone had painted his prize mule green.
He touched her just to be sure and there was no doubt. Well, he went back into the pub and began to curse and to try to find out who had painted his prize mule green. Then one of the boys and the end of the bar stood up, a very large fellow indeed. "I did it!" says he. "Have you got something to say to me?"
Without the slightest pause the old man said, "Yes! The first coat is dry."
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