It is a beautiful day here in Central Florida, perfect for watching the annual St. Patrick's Day parade stagger down Park Avenue in Winter Park. The parade begins at 2:00 and the post-parade celebrating begins at about 2:10.......
Paddy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!
Murphy had a hardware shop. Paddy went into the shop and asked, “I want to buy a shovel - how much are they?”
Murphy replied, “€20.”
Then Paddy said, “€20? At O’Reilly’s down the road, they’re only €10.”
So Murphy said, “Well, why didn’t you buy one down there, then?”
Paddy says, “They haven’t got any.”
Murphy replies, “Well, when we haven’t got any, we only charge €10.”
So Paddy says, “Fair enough, I’ll come back next week when you haven’t got any!”
An American walks into O'Connor's Pub overlooking Galway Bay in Galway, Ireland and raises his voice to the crowd of locals, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinking fools. I'll give $500 American to anybody here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back."
A hush falls over the room. Not a soul has the nerve to take the American up on his offer.
Paddy Murphy gets up to leave the bar, but 15 minutes later, he is back tapping the American on the shoulder.
"Is your bet still good, Yank?" asks Paddy.
"It is," roars the American. He then orders the barman to line up 10 pints of Guinness on the bar.
Immediately, Paddy downs all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back to back. The other pub patrons cheer their approval and the American plops down upon his barstool in amazement. Handing Paddy the $500, the Yank asks, "If you don't mind my asking, where did you go for that 15 minutes?"
To which Paddy Murphy replies, "Oh...I went to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
See you at the parade!!