March 3, 2014

Day 3

'Tis Monday..... A day that many people, believe it or not, look forward to.  And I believe that they look forward to it this week only because it begins the daily dose of Irish humor within my working World. Unless they are so dedicated that they came to the blog site without prompting, they may not even know that this is the third day or Irish....

A woman from Co. Kerry hired three men to move her furniture. When she saw two of them struggling to carry a wardrobe upstairs, she asked where the third fellow was. “Oh, he’s in the wardrobe stopping the wire coat-hangers from rattling!”


For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide.
Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin.
"Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!"
"Yeah," said Mulvaney. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!"


The warden catches Seamus leaving the vicinity of the reservoir with a bucket of fish.
"Aha!  I've caught you poachin' fish red-handed," says the warden.
"What do you mean, red-handed?" says Seamus.
"You've got a bucket full of 'em right there. You can't talk your way out of it this time."
"Oh, you don't understand," says Seamus, "I've not poached a thing. These are me pet fish. I bring 'em to the reservoir once a week for exercise. After they've had a good swim, they come back to the bucket and we go back home."
"Do ya expect me to believe such a tale?"
"I can prove it." say Seamus.
So they walk back to the reservoir and Seamus dips the bucket in and the fish swim away. They stand in silence for 20, 30, 40 sign of the fish coming back to the pail.
"Ha, ya lying rogue! shouts the warden. "Where are your fish?"
"What fish?"


The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
            She said: "Ladies, remember that exercise is GOOD for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier!"
            She looked at the men in the room. "And gentlemen, remember. You're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner."
            The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then Murphy at the back of the room slowly raised his hand. “Yes?" answered the teacher.
            "I was just wondering," Murphy said. "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

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