March 5, 2014

Day 5

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of the holy season of Lent.  One of the reasons that I grew up with such an appreciation for St. Patrick's Day was from going to a Catholic School where the good nuns would ease our Lenten fasting from cookies and treats for the feast of St. Patrick.  What better way to even get the Italian kids in the class claiming it was their holiday too as St. Patrick was from Italy (He wasn't, but he wasn't Irish either). So while we don't typically celebrate on the first day of Lent, there is no sin in laughing.

Dugan, in a decidedly tipsy state, boarded a bus and sat down in front of a priest reading the evening paper.
"I ain't goin' to heaven," bawled Dugan.  "I ain't -hic- goin' to heaven!"
The priest continued to read his paper.
"I ain't goin' to heaven 'cause there ain't no heaven!!"
"Well, go to hell then," said the priest.  "But be quiet about it!"


The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor.  However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward.  When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man.
The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back.  He turned very quickly, caught the bull by the horns and threw it to the ground with a bump that left it breathless.
"Aidan," said the neighbor, "I never knew you were so strong."
"Faith, and if I could have got that fella off the handlebars of the bicycle I'd have thrashed him properly."


She followed her husband to the public house.
"How can you come here," she said, taking a sip of his pint of Guinness, "and drink that awful stuff?"
"Now!" he cried, "And you always said I was out enjoying meself."


An Irish couple, whose married bliss was not without a few "squalls" received a humble lecture from their priest regarding their disgraceful quarrels.
"Why, that dog and cat you have agree better than you."
"If yer reverence'll tie them together, ye'll soon change yer mind."

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